According to the 2007 US Census, 30.4 percent of businesses in Michigan were owned by women. As of July that year, there were nearly ten million people living in Michigan, which means 3,002,260 women in Michigan owned businesses. Exact percentages for working mothers in Michigan were not available, but with approximately three million women business owners, the number of moms who manage a career as well as a household is high. So is it becoming more socially acceptable for moms to work full time outside of the home? Do full time stay at home moms have it easier? We asked Grand Valley State University professor of gender economics Sonia Dalmia to explain the relationship between mothers who work full time outside and inside of the home.
Q: What are the social activities of a stay at home mother verses and mother who works full time? Do they vary and why?
A: Social activities of a stay at home mother (with little kids not in school) revolve around the play dates they arrange for their kids. The play dates can be at a museum, mall or at someone’s house. As the kids get older a lot of these moms volunteer their time at their kids school or hang out with each other during their kids soccer practice or other after school activities. For a working mother like myself, social activities are usually reserved for the weekends and involve spending time with friends over dinner or doing fun things with the kids. I find a lot of working moms who drive their kids to soccer practice or other activities spend that time running errands such as grocery shopping instead of talking with other moms. The activities vary because of difference in time constraints.
Q: Are mothers who work full time outside of the home more likely to be socially involved in their communities than stay at home mothers, or is it the other way around?
A: The answer here varies from individual to individual. I am a working mother and I am very much involved in the Indian community of Grand Rapids. It all boils down to the time constraints, support the mom receives from her husband and family as well as what the individual enjoys and considers important. As a result I would be less inclined to make a blanket statement here.
Q: Is it becoming more socially acceptable to be a full time working mother?
A: Again the answer depends on the region you live in. In a city like New York yes, it is both socially acceptable and more common to see full time working mothers. But that also has a lot to do with the ease with which one can find nannies or other support system to take care of the children while the mom is at work. In Grand Rapids, particularly the area I live in, working mothers is not the norm.
Q: When differences are there between the stay at home mom of the 1950s and today’s stay at home mom?
A: Compared to the 1950s today’s stay at home mom
- has fewer children
- spends less time on housework and cooking primarily because of the conveniences of the microwave, washer/dryer, readymade bread etc.
- spends more time on transporting children from one activity to another. Although moms today have fewer children, they are involved in more activities.
Q: Do you think stay at home mothers are stereotyped as not having an education?
A: I do not think so. I know many stay at home mothers who are very well educated. More than being stereotyped as having less education, there is sometimes bewilderment for why these moms are not utilizing their education to work outside the home. One has to note that college is where men and women are more likely to meet and choose their life partners. Therefore, to assume that stay at home mothers do not have an education is wrong.
Q: What struggles are there between women who stay at home and work full time outside of the home?
A: The main struggle in my opinion is that instead of realizing that both sets of moms want the best for their children, they find themselves on opposing sides trying to prove that they are better than the other. Moreover, each side believes that they do not receive the respect that they rightfully deserve. My personal experience volunteering at my children’s elementary school was not the best. I always felt like an outsider. Almost all of the volunteers at the school were stay-at-home moms. I found it very hard to break into that group. I got the impression that more than monetary contribution (an option for a lot of working moms) it was time contribution that was valued more by the stay-at-home moms that were a support system for the schools.
Q: What stigmas are there for each of these groups of women and why?
A: The stigma for working mothers is that they are more career conscious and ambitious and as a result care less about their children. The stigma for stay-at-mothers is that they care less about the education they received and that they have such an easy life. When a nation’s Gross Domestic Product does not value a stay-at-home parent’s contribution, it is not difficult to see why in general we tend to undervalue a full-time parent’s contribution. Any parent will tell you, raising kids is one of the hardest jobs and it is a job that come with no instructional manual. It is therefore, extremely important to salute the hard work of all the parents regardless of their employment status.
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