Self-Discovery and Single Sexuality

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According to the 2018 Census, there are more single adults in the US now than ever before—about 45% of the population. But is that really a bad thing?

It's no secret that talking about sexuality and other sexual trends can be tricky. However, local sexologist, relationships expert, and body image specialist, Dr. Megan Stubbs, seeks to alleviate that tension through her insightful and approachable work. Her new book, Playing Without a Partner: A Single's Guide to Sex, Dating, and Happiness, recognizes that whether single by choice or actively looking for a partner, single adults face unique challenges in their sexual and sensual lives.

Dr. Stubb's book is far from an advice book on how to find a partner to "cure" what ails you, though. Rather, Playing Without a Partner recognizes that whether looking for a long-term partner, actively dating, or happily single, there can be difficult aspects to single sexuality. But there are also ways to optimize your pleasure, improve your interactions, feel sensual and erotic, and have an empowered sex life while still single.

"I was connected to the publisher by a friend and asked if they were looking for any new authors to take on new book ideas. They had one centered around single life and I instantly knew it was the one for me," said Dr. Stubbs, who grew up in Lowell and moved to Grand Rapids to attend GVSU before attending graduate school in San Francisco. She's now set her roots back near downtown Grand Rapids. "I have lived much of my adult life as a single person so I knew that coupled with my expertise would give a unique spin to the topic."

Dr. Stubbs emphasizes that the book is about self-discovery and learning to find peace within your own life.

"It's written for the single person, but even people who are in relationships can find valuable takeaways," said Dr.Stubbs, who is mindful of inclusion and brings a sensitivity to ethnic diversity rooted in her own complex heritage. "There are plenty of books on the market that come from a heteronormative point of view, so I wanted to make sure this could serve as diverse a population as possible. Also, being a multiracial person, I know that many cultural biases can come up when it comes to certain beliefs or activities, so I've tried my best to confront them based on my own navigation of the topics."

Dr. Stubbs hopes that after finishing her book, readers will feel more at peace with how they perceive their own body, powerful in advocating for what they want, and can smile knowing that even the expert can have bad days and dates.

Dr. Stubb's book is available for pre-order now and is available starting April 13, 2021.

Written by Sarah Suydam, Managing Editor for West Michigan Woman.

Photo courtesy of Dr. Megan Stubbs.


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