Understanding has long been Vonnie Woodrick's guiding principle in everything she does.
As founder of "i understand"—a nonprofit that provides compassionate comfort and understanding for those affected by suicide or mental/brain health illness and pain—Woodrick is actively changing the conversation and attitudes around suicide. Unfortunately, she knows from lived experience what walking that journey entails and how strong the stigma is.
After the loss of her husband of almost 20 years, Rob, to suicide in 2003, Woodrick not only found herself navigating her new life alongside the couple's three children (Chase, Whitney and Maddie), but fielding questions and misguided judgements from those on the outside looking in.
"I'd go to the grocery store and hear people whisper and point, 'Her husband is the one that killed himself,'" Woodrick shared. "The most commonly asked question after suicide loss is 'how did they do it?' and how are you supposed to answer that? I didn't understand it, so it took me a long time to talk openly about it because of the judgment and stigma that's attached."
Eventually, Woodrick and her family felt ready to speak more openly about their loss, together founding "i understand" in July 2014. Shortly following, on National Suicide Prevention Awareness Day that September, Woodrick's youngest daughter was surprised by about 50 friends who wore shirts of support to school. This served as a pivotal moment for the family, driving home their collective passion for building a community based less on judgment and more on understanding.
"I started 'i understand' because I felt really alone; I didn't have any friends who'd had this type of loss," Woodrick said.
Alongside a logo with a pink heart—the color of unconditional love—"i understand" began with 100 shirts that Woodrick and her family gave away to the community which read, "I understand. Love heals." And now, as the nonprofit celebrates 10 years, their impact is deeper and more far reaching than ever.
From raising funds so Helen DeVos Children's Hospital could hire the country's first nurse specializing in mental health, to advocating for the creation of sensory rooms, to authoring a book "I Understand: Pain, Love and Healing After Suicide," to speaking at countless events, to hosting free support groups for those who've lost a loved one by suicide and much more ... Woodrick is relentless in her pursuit.
One initiative Woodrick is particularly passionate about is updating the definition of suicide from intentionally taking one's own life to one about suicide's role as a terminal effect of mental/brain health illness or pain.
"I used to think suicide was something a crazy person did," Woodrick shared. "But my husband wasn't crazy. He was kind, loving, gentle and fun. He loved us. He loved our kids."
Advocating for this updated definition is something we all can do, and is a step Woodrick says can open up the conversation about mental/brain health and encourage those who are struggling to seek help.
Woodrick loves being able to collaborate with other nonprofits and community members, and is eagerly awaiting the upcoming i understand Kimberly Mutch Bergner Memorial Mental Wellness Exhibit done in collaboration with the Grand Rapids Children's Museum—an organization started by her late husband's family. The exhibit—which Woodrick hopes will eventually be introduced as a traveling exhibit at other museums following its permanent opening at GRCM in early October—uses weather elements as a way for children to express and understand emotions. The exhibit will also touch on grief of all kinds—the first children's museum in the country to do so.
"The tree house that's currently there will be changed into a big cloud, and children can experience how they feel when there's thunder, or a rainbow, or sun," Woodrick said. "This can help teach kids how to express emotions, and just as important, help parents learn how to respond to these emotions. We really want to bring the conversation around these topics to everyday places to normalize it."
Woodrick tapped friend Ginger Zee, Chief Meteorologist and Chief Climate Correspondent with ABC News, to contribute her voice and image to the exhibit. Zee shares her connection to Woodrick and their story in her own book, "A Little Closer to Home," in addition to contributing a statement to Woodrick's new book "The Power of Sharing: Stories of Hope, Love, Support, and Healing from i understand," which shares 20 different stories of hope from various contributors.
You can also find Woodrick speaking to notable people like Olympian Tara Lipinski, actress and mental health advocate Mariel Hemingway, and former Bachelor contestant Sydney Johnson about mental health on her podcast, "Behind the Smile."
But what can we as a community do to be more understanding of those experiencing mental illness and distress?
"The first thing is not to judge," Woodrick said. "One of the things that we say is to be the ONE for someone. How do we do that? O: Offer support; N: Narrate using caring and compassionate words that are non-threatening; and E: Encourage. We're not counselors or therapists, but we can encourage someone to find somebody who can help them.
"Talking saves lives. The more we talk, the more we know."
Inspired by "i understand" volunteers, family, colleagues and friends like Doug Meijer, Woodrick looks to the future through an optimistic lens, with a dream of finding resources, support and acceptance for anybody who's struggling.
"The most difficult thing I've had to do was watch my kids grow up without their dad; I don't want anybody to have to go through that," she said. "So, if I can offer that compassion, comfort and understanding to others, that's what I want to do ... even if it's one person at a time."
Alongside her ever-present work, Woodrick finds peace in walking, spending time with family and friends, and being near the calm waves and sandy shores of Lake Michigan.
If you're thinking about suicide, are worried about a friend or loved one, or would like emotional support, the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline can be reached 24/7 across the U.S. by dialing or texting 988. You can also chat online at 988lifeline.org/chat.
Get involved with "i understand" and their mission by volunteering, donating, fundraising and otherwise by visiting iunderstandloveheals.org. Sign the definition petition at: iunderstandloveheals.org/definitionpetition.
Written by Sarah Suydam, Managing Editor for West Michigan Woman.
This article originally appeared in the Aug/Sep '24 issue of West Michigan Woman.
Photo courtesy of Kelly Braman Photography.
